Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Seek Him with your whole heart.

"Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the LORD! Blessed are those who keep His testimonies, who seek Him with their WHOLE heart." Psalm 119:1-2

This morning while doing my devotions, I was just sitting there kinda just thinking over all that God has allowed in my life right now and just being kinda confused and frustrated and He led me to the above verse. As I was sitting quietly before the feet of my LORD He made the words jump out of the page"who seek Him with their WHOLE heart." not just part of it but ALL of it. I struggle so much with that. Because I want part of my own heart for myself I don't want to just hand it over to God and do whatever He wants with it. That's where I got convicted. God just spoke to me so clear and said "how can I comfort you and speak to you if I don't have all of your heart?"See, I was trying to understand why God allowed these things in my life and yet how can I fully understand why He put them there if I'm not trusting Him? Simple answer: I can't. So this morning I prayed.I asked the Lord to lead and guide my every thought my every passion my every move and my every love. I'm standing fast in the fact that HE has a much better plan for my life then I do. I want to be used by Him in whatever capacity and I want to fully trust Him. And to trust Him with my WHOLE heart. Those of you who read this, I ask for your help in keeping me accountable in this and to encourage me in it. I know it won't come easy for me but I also know that the imposssible can be done with the help of my one True Love.

3 comments:

chuckeddie said...

I , also am seeking the Lord for His peace and presence in my situation . I've recently made a decision that Ihonestly believed He would have me make but nothing seems to be going right . Iknow and am persuaded by my past experience that He is able to resolve and settle this, but right now I am being stretched more than I have been in a long time. I truely thank Him for the deep confidence He has proven that I can have in Him. My circumstances tell me that nothing positive is happening and I'm getting anxious . God has proven that He is faithful. Please pray that I will not let Him down.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I prayed for you chuckeddie. Don't know how old your post is, but just thought I'd let you know.

Heather, I was looking up some scriptures on God's promises and this blog entry came up on google. Hey, yeah: it's kind of weird, to live your own way (in sin, really; which is also subscribing to Satan's way: disobedience, rebellion to our maker's plans) and then to give it up.

It really has been sticking to my heart that Jesus didn't just say that we are supposed to accept His atonement and go on, try to be good as best we can. No, he said to "sin no more". He said we're supposed to live it or else "fall away". He forgives our sins, we can't work that away, right? We all know that. But he expects uf to live the life in His Kingdom now when we do that, then "we can build up treasures in Heaven". Be a light to others by showing them we are living in His Kingdom now. He still bought our forgiveness, we can't do that; but we're supposed to be His faithful followers now. You can't choose Him and then serve somebody else or serve somebody else at the same time, he makes it pretty clear. I think we reject Him if we don't follow Him. You have to accept Him if you want the atonement. Now, I personally think that if you reject Him in how you live at some point after you accept that He is the son and died for your sins and you asked for his forgiveness... you might also, in doing so and changing your allegiances, reject His atonement (I dunno, I'm going to pray and study on it some more that the real truth of this will be revealed to me; but it makes sense to me as of now; you get his forgiveness if you believe in Him, right -- not believe for 2 seconds to partake of the atonement... then choose to unbelieve in your actions at His Word, commandments and promises for your entire life). But if not, because I know some will disagree with me, if once you recieve his atonement it stays, I can't see God being very happy that you still chose this world and showed its testimony to other's through how you lived instead of God's after all that. How sad and shameful are we to do that, you know? That's sickening really if you understand and believe, the gravity of it.

We're taught that in this world; independence, blatant distrust and disrespect of any authority, to come up with our own way through our own ideas. That's satan's temptation, that's the same way he fell. He want to take us with him and slap God in the face by getting us to go down by choice with him.

But that way doesn't work. You know it, I know it. Because it's God's Kingdom, it's here now. Satan's works are only built from lies and perversions and deceptions of what God has made. That's what man's world is, and you can see how ugly and decrepid and unjust and insane and dead it is next to God's Creation. Satan can't make anything. Anything built here to disuade or persuade us by Satan, it's only here because God allows it... but only for a season. But the time is coming, and I believe VERY soon. That His Kingdom and servants will serve in a new earth and heaven, completely devoid of temptation or any untruth, with Jesus at the Helm here on Earth as well as in our hearts. We will be given of the fruit of the tree of Life, it'll be wonderful. No more of this stuff we know is fake.

But that's our choice, Him or ourselves/satan. Satan wanted to be God, he wanted no longer to give dominion of his self over to God and thought he could do better. We're making that same choice right now. That's the game, we fell because of our ancestors sinning and giving up what God had made, too. But God offers us something extra special if we can overcome now. I really believe that. He's offered us redemption, to have a seat at his table, everything will be made clear to us (even the choice we made and the chances we had at the judgement will be beyond argument to any of us -- we'll know we made a choice). And we're going to get to eat of the tree of life and to live eternally with Jesus, you know.

But, I think we all struggle, and we all have to grow... and that as we grow, God will heal our hearts and make us to understand through the Holy Ghost. He knows everything about us. He forgives our sins, but he still sees the damage they inflicted upon us and wants to help us through our walking with Him. But we have to submit and trust Him to do this. There's no other way, you know. Otherwise your making a different choice than the one he offers, you know?

But I just have to remember. And I'm going through this "being broken" thing right now, too. That he is the TRUTH, the LIGHT and the WAY. He is the most Just, True, Fair, Honest, Loving governance that there is... and we all want that, a Good King. That's Him! But, yet we will trust and submit to our own corrupt and broken governments on this world, most people, you know, more than God? That's our problem. We want what we want now, just like little children eating to many cookies and getting sick... or touching the fire after we're told we're going to get burned.

He is a good father, he doesn't tell us anything evil. He wants us to know who he is, that this is true, to love and trust Him. Not fake it. But we have to be obedient to know so.

That's how I feel is like a little child, spoiled and rotten and willfull beyond reason. God made me, but I ran away and had bad parents who taught me to be a bad kid. In my relationship with God, that's pretty mcuh how I see it. Now I've ran away again to come back to God because my bad parents just didn't care and they beat me and hated me. But I still am used to living my own way, being distrustful, etc.

I know that's what it is. We have to break it and come back to God and embrace Him. He wouldn't ever do us wrong, he wants to show us that and what a good caretaker does, and he wants us to grow and mature in the right ways. So, we as spoiled children say, "I want that NOW, God!" and he says, "No. In it's right time, then it will be better for you." And we get mad and we run off. That's just one of the ways we go back to the bad parents who abused us (if they can even be called that).

So, we have to trust God at His Word that he IS a good parent, see how He hasn't done us wrong, SEE how his judgement is always right and good. Just submit and walk with Him. Let him be the good parent that He is. If we hate His judgement and hate being around Him, hate the things He would have us do? He won't force us to stay, it'll sadden Him, but, in being good, he gives us the right to choose. He only wants our love if it comes willingly (which is right, wouldn't you say?).

But He made us. He knows us. He put all our desires, talents and the things that make us who we are there. And they are good in the way He intended. He will fullfill them if we let them and it will be better than anything we could have done with them or imagined. Or we can take the perverse option of satan's, of disobedience... and watch them turn into gangrenous and wretched scabs. Everything about us we thought meant something will become sources of evil, death and corruption. We'll hate ourselves.

That's how I see it. What I know to be true now from the Bible and the Word and from the Holy Spirit. Never been made more clear to me than before. I cannot doubt this thing. So, I've been walking, as best as I've been able to the last several days (probably a couple weeks now) with God again. Trying really hard to do everything with His instruction and by asking of the Holy Spirit; quieting my heart's own desires and listening to His. Believing, testing His promises that He said would be realized if I submitted to his Kingdom and rule. Some weird, miraculous types or things have been happening. Good things. But I've also been tempted and intimidated in strange ways since, too. Like Things that never would have happened before when I was living in sin, being dominated by it, submitting to it, just too weird to have happened on their own, you know.

So, pray for me, too. Please, sisters and brothers. I don't write this out for you to read alone as a sharing of my testimony, but for me, too. You know?

peace and may god be with you and bless you,
-Rob
Savage_cimmerian@hotmail.com

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